Moving forward again

I think I am getting there as far as this blog goes. Changed the header, added the links etc. So back to why I write this. Initially, it was to keep my scattered family up to speed about where I am and what I am doing. It's been going on now for several years and at times it has been a rant, a musing, a travelogue. The last phase was as I worked at getting mymixednuts up and running. When things started out, I posted regularly, about this gray haired baby boomer lady trying for an encore career.

It was fun and a challenge. Coming from a publishing background, and having worked on the internet from it's infancy, I was able to accomplish a lot and am very proud of that.

BUT, and there is a big but, I will never take on a project like that on my own.

Not knowing the partners, other than Ryan, it ended up being a disaster. No ground rules were in place, and no one other than myself, had any duties. Decisions were all mine even if they were fly by the seat of my pants ones. And I know I made mistakes along the way, but without a sounding board and without support, I could only do what I could do.

So in the end, although the web site is great, it's a good little business, it still is not making money and won't for a while. It needs constant financial feeding and that is not forthcoming. Not even to pay me, so I have had to punt.

It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The business was like a baby to me so leaving it is like losing someone/thing you love. I battled on for too long, trying to make it work without an income, but finally I had to admit to myself that keeping it going on my own was impossible. At times it felt like I was the only one who cared, even though huge (to me) amounts of money had been invested into it.

So here I am back where I was 18 months ago, with a lot of experience under my belt but little to show for my efforts. Ryan has done so much for me, to try to keep it going so that I would have an income. But it comes down to finances and actually putting gas in the car and food on the table.

So I am looking around to find something that a 62 year old single woman can do to make a living.

My social security will kick in next month, something I had no intention of doing. But that will help and I check my pride and went and got food stamps! It's only temporary but will get me through the rough spot I am in.

The big question for me now is - where the heck am I going to be able to live on my minute social security? Certainly not the US! And besides, I haven't wanted to be here for a long time and have stayed - recently - because of the business and because the house is going into foreclosure so am not making any mortgage payments. If I had to pay rent, I would really be up the creek.

So I am thinking Mexico, Ecuador, Nicaragua, Belize (see my blog about Susan and my trip years ago). Or maybe back to South Africa, but I am hesitant being that far away from my boys, that I might end up stuck there. There are numerous factors to consider and it is not something I will jump into.

First is cost of living, then climate (it has got to be warm, no more of this Pacific Northwest shit), internet access because I am pretty sure any additional income I generate will be online, and then language. Although it would be fun to learn Spanish.

For a while I think this blog is going to be my sounding board as I figure out what my next moves are going to be.