Over the years - well, since I was 42 I've been on and off HRT. Dr Klein was the first to prescribe it saying I was perimenopausal and needed it. Of course I trusted him - he delivered both babies. From then on I was on again off again. Brainwashed to the max. Then I read Sex Lies and Menopause and I am not putting a link to it because it is all lies - or unsubstantiated truth. It sounded so good, get your body thinking it is 25 again so you don't get the diseases of aging.
So blindly, Susan and I started the routine. That was June last year after I came back from Mick's wedding in South Africa.
To start with I felt really good although having periods again was ugh! That was the the one thing about getting older that I liked - none of the that crappy monthly stuff. But I thought, "OK, if I'm protecting myself, I can live with this." My nurse practitioner presecribed for me and she even said I'd lose weight on it, get back to where I used to be.
Well, guess what. It doesn't work and with what I've been reading recently, a lot of the symptoms of the system going wrong correspond to my "mystery illness." Could it be that what no one could diagnose was hormone poisoning? I've read about heart pain, headaches, chronic fatigue, general malaise, huge weight gain around the mid-section - all the stuff I had/have - except the huge inflammation. But I'm suspicious.
So yesterday I decided to stop - cold turkey. Well almost cold turkey. Apparently it's the progesterone that does most of the damage as it builds up in the system so I decided to cut that out and minimize the estrogen. So I will find out what happens.
But I figure, we all age and menopause is a natural phenomenon. It's not an illness and we should accept this and live with it like women of more civilized societies. I eat right, don't exercise enough but maybe when I'm off these things I will have more energy, get lots of rest etc so I should be just fine. And especially if my mind is in the right place, regardless of what the rest of this screwed up society is saying.
More and more, I am mistrusting this country - its medical beliefs led by the big pharmaceuticals, its politics, its environmental policies - they all are so opposite to what I believe is right. So what does one do?
Belize sounds good to me. Of course every country has its own problems but somehow I think that the problems will be easier to handle in a less commercialized, controlled, prevasively intrusive country as most third world, or less developed nations are. I found that in South Africa but I guess its changing there too - a lot!
I haven't written here for a week - it's been really busy what with Chris having surgery on his hand and buying another house - driving back and forth to Port Angeles where both the doctor and the house are. It's an hour each way so time has really been taken up with all that.
And the weather - oh the weather! It SUCKS - big time. Pouring rainy howling winds nasty cold. Need I say more - another reason Belize is the place to be.