Heading South, Far South

And the saga continues! I don't do waiting very well. I get frustrated, angry, pissed off, you name it. And when the waiting just seems to never end, I draw a line in the sand.

That's what I had to do last week. The investors/CFO/powers that be in the organization have been dragging their heels (from my perspective) with no concrete decisions coming out of what seem like endless meetings. The word is later today, tomorrow, next week.

Finally, I thought at the beginning of last week, it can't - or more specifically - I can't go on like this, so I decided that Friday was my cutoff point. My finances had dwindled to minus nothing (is a double negative a positive?) and I was ready to tear my hair out. Thursday news was positive, the board meeting was supposedly showing some progress and we would hear something that day! Whoo hoo!

Friday 13th... I ask is there any news? No, not til Monday. I didn't go nuclear. I just thought, OK that's it. I'm outta here.

So I listed my car on craigslist (and might have it sold) told the bosses that I am packing up and leaving for South Africa. But I will continue to work with them, on a limited basis until I am paid. But I cannot afford to live here on no money. No one can.

Today, I showed the car to people who are very interested. I also took it to a dealer who will take it on consignment if it hasn't sold by the time I leave on Wednesday. Chris will handle the sale for me from there.

All my boxes - the ones I packed to leave in September - are stored up in the loft so my photos and slides will be safe. Now all I have to do is weed through my clothes and pack up what I am taking and get on the Alaska flight to SoCal on Wednesday. I haven't booked the SA flight yet as I don't know how long I will stay in California, but Mick is ready to pick me up from the new Durban airport when I get there.

My Kangen water machine goes with me! Can't live without it! I will need a converter when I get there though. 110v - 220v.

I don't think I have ever been in such a squeezed spot in my life. Or maybe I have, when I was younger, and could handle it a lot better than I am this time around. But I sure as hell didn't plan on this stress and angst at my age! I always thought I would be settled and comfortable and not worrying about where my next dollar was coming from.

So I will continue to work for ecology, just keeping things going and hope - actually that is Hope with a capital H - that the funding comes through and I keep working. But if it doesn't, then I will have to reassess. And even if it does happen, I am planning on Country Life to see if I can work with them again. It would be so much fun to re-do the Zululand trips - 10 years later!

It's not all bad, it's just a readjustment all over again. It seems that I just get my head on in one direction and then everything turns around and I have to make changes! Sheesh... or eish... I don't want to have to keep doing that any more! I want peace, consistency, warmth .. btw, it is going to be raining and snowing here for the next 10 days! Can Wednesday please hurry up?