Back to Square One

After all the waiting and nailbiting and anxiety, there is still no answer.

When the doctor finally phoned yesterday evening at almost 6, I of course was relieved to hear from him but then to have no answers again is very disconcerting. He said the temporal artery biopsy came back negative which really isn't a definitive answer, as the giant cell arteritis can be in different areas and if they don't get the right spot for the biopsy, then nothing will show. He also said that because I am on such a high dose of prednisone, everything in my system is suppressed to it's difficult to diagnose. Sounds like a cop out to me but...

So now I can at least reduce the prednisone - gradually, to wean myself off it down to a maintenance dose of 10mg. I'm pretty much on my own on this. I have to be very conscious of what my body is doing and if any symptoms reappear or if new ones show up I have to call him or Dr Lynn, my primary care doctor.

It just is so strange to me to have this thing going on and not know what it is. It could be - like with Debbie and Jenni and Helen - a virus that will just go away. But obviously, from the dismissive attitude of the doctor, I need to take control of the situation and work at it from my side.

Which is more the mind-body connection and healing that way. I know how strong my mind is (heavens, it's got me in enough trouble too many times) so I know that I can direct it in the right way. So I have to figure out the next steps. I'm doing the right thing as far as diet goes, having already changed that although I believe I usually have eaten pretty well, very few junk foods etc. But I have switched to more vegetables and fruit and that sort of thing and as I have mentioned before, taking more time to prepare the food, not relying on pre-packaged stuff. To me pre-packaged and prepared food are different. By that, I mean already cut up veges versus a whole head of broccoli. Probably doesn't make much difference but the intent for better health is there. I probably must move toward organic as well. We are fortunate around here in the Port Townsend area to have a couple of food places that only do organic so will have to start patronizing them more.

I'm religiously taking the omega-3 and coral calcium with all the phytonutrients and minerals etc and as my energy slowly returns, which it is, I will be able to bring in some sort of exercise program. Although I look outside this morning, it's crystal clear and -5C or 23F and really don't have any desire to go out for a walk! What I would really like is to have an infinite pool in the solarium. Then I could swim regardless of the weather - or the temperature outside.

Stepping down the prednisone is going to take a month or so. Which takes me to the first part of January and when we were supposed to be going to Nicaragua. I really would like to take a trip and now I'm wondering whether I will be OK to go? It's the time of year to get the hell out of here, but if I'm not strong enough to travel the way I like to, then there really is no point in going. I want to be on the go, exploring the country. I don't want to go all that way and sit on the beach at an hotel for days. That's not my idea of a holiday. Maybe we will have to go a month or so later, but then that cuts into the real estate season. But I don't think that is going to stop me.

But then again, this whole health situation is so nebulous, that it's difficult to make any sort of decision around it, other than taking care of myself, and getting better - whatever that means. I think I will make an appointment with Dr Lynn. He was gone on vacation while all this was going on so it will probably be good to bring him up to speed so that if anything should happen he will be fully apprised.

So that covers the regular western medical side and I will take care of the rest.

This morning is the coldest I've seen it here. The banks of the estuary are covered with frost and the dock is totally white. The ducks don't seem to mind at all. A flock of northern pintails just cruised in for a landing and our resident California seagull is preening on the piling. Hinckley and Harley (the kitties) are outside roaring around like mad things - I expect to keep warm! The overhead panels in the solarium have thick ice and I'm sure if I was to go out to the car, I'd need the ice scraper for the windscreen. And the colors in the bare trees are still very soft and deceivingly warm-looking. But I sure don't want to be out in it!